I convince myself that I don't need to put a lot of energy into my recovery programme today because I will probably never go back to alcohol or drug use. I tend to keep this belief to myself. Sometimes I am afraid to tell my counsellor or other recovering people about this belief for fear of being confronted. At other times I think it is none of their business. 

I take the focus off myself by becoming more concerned about the sobriety of others than about my personal recovery. I privately judge the drinking or using of my friends and spouse and the recovery programmes of other recovering people. I keep these private judgements to myself and don't talk about them. This is often called "working the other persons programme". 

I start using compulsive behaviours to keep my mind off how uncomfortable I am feeling. I get stuck in old, rigid, and self-defeating ways of thinking and acting. I tend to do the same thing over and over again without good reason. I tend to control conversations either by talking too much or not talking at all. I start working more than I need to and get involved in many activities. Other people think I am a model of recovery because of my heavy involvement in Twelve-step work and chairing meetings. I become active in my therapy group by "playing therapist" but I am reluctant to talk about my personal problems. I avoid casual or informal involvement with people unless I can be in control. 

I start creating problems for myself by using poor judgement and impulsively doing things without thinking them through. This usually happens at times of high stress. Sometimes I privately feel bad, but I tend to make excuses and blame others for the problems. 

I start feeling uncomfortable around others and start spending more time alone I usually have good reasons and excuses for staying away from other people. I start feeling lonely. Instead of dealing with the loneliness by trying to meet and be around other people, I get more compulsive about doing things alone.